Our Journey from Reptile to Phoenix
Happy Thursday everyone! Hoping in the last week you gently interrogated the bittersweet vines within, and were able to break the chain before they destabilized your center. There was a missing aspect about last week’s article I could’ve continued on and on about, but decided it would be better to embellish upon in the next newsletter. So here we are!
Last week we learned that we must disarm our weaponized thoughts before they harm us, because the more we pour gas on the fire, the more it burns… But this is all easier said than done, right? How can we actually gather the confidence and security within ourselves to not only confront these thoughts, but to actually snuff out their flames?
Like I mentioned last week, I feel like our mind revs up with lots of ‘what if’s’, shame and blame when we’re either being challenged, or merely pressed up against the boundaries of what we’ve previously believed possible for ourselves. That the harshness of thoughts really just comes from a deep place of fear that we will either be hurt, rejected, or worse- fail… So then how do we go about fortifying our nervous systems to the point we can sense the fear, observe the sharp thoughts, yet still manage to choose otherwise for ourselves?
Firstly, let’s unpack the belief that fear is bad; and that to be a powerful manifestor, or successful at whatever it is that you see as successful; means you must be fearless. I literally loathe this word and think it’s relatively useless. From my perspective, fearless might as well mean unconscious. If you go for a walk along a cliff, your fear is probably going to play a big part in you not falling to your death. Now, I’d say that’s relatively important no?... Fear is a good thing if we know how to leverage it to our advantage…
My very first tattoo was the words “Don’t be afraid” on my left forearm when I was 18. Fear was something I battled the majority of my early life. As a spitfire little 18 year old getting their first tattoo, I not only wanted to defy fear; I wanted to defeat it. Then a few short months later a woman looked down at my tattoo, read it, and said to me plain as day: “that’s a silly tattoo… you can’t have courage without fear” and it was clear I had made a novice mistake... I got that original tattoo covered up shortly afterwards with the mythological bird, a Phoenix.
You see the Phoenix knows it will rise over and over again from its ashes. Although this is true, I would guess it probably still has a thread of dread attached to that process. When faced with the imminent reality of shortly being reduced to rubble, I’d imagine fear still lives here for the Phoenix. The Phoenix does not have an absence of fear, but it is a catalyst for what to do once it arrives… Rise.
The evidence is the magic the Phoenix holds. Can you recall a time where life reduced you to rubble or ruins? I have a heaping handful of these experiences, and my guess is you do too since you’re still subscribed to this newsletter. After this less than ideal situation took place that left you on your knees, or maybe face down in the mud… how did you get back up? How did you not only heal but come out on top? If you’re reading or listening to this newsletter right now, I know you got back up. How you came back home to normalcy and regulation after that earth shattering experience, is your proof you know how to rise. Viewing these parts of life as a cyclical pattern of a ‘life, death, rebirth’, which all things in nature follow, gives some perspective on the matter.
It makes me think as well of the concept of ‘faith’ when we’re deep in the throws of these harrowing experiences. There’s a subconscious part of us called the Reptilian brain that is responsible for this sense to rise again from our ashes, because it tells us we need to eat and sleep, go or don’t go, and maybe get a glass of water when we’re in these dysregulated states.
Your reptilian brain is also responsible for you staying in that frozen or fearful place in the series of “fight, flight, or freeze '' reactions this part of our consciousness operates from. If we had no other parts of our beingness, the reptilian brain would run the entire show and by default keep us safe via ‘minding the devil we know’ per say, and continue to accept less than ideal situations because we know how to repair them. Why then do we get up and not only try again, but strive forth for a better experience, a better life?
I think this has to do with the part of our brains that isn’t really a part of the brain at all. The ego, which a little ego is healthy and hear me out… a little bit of ego taps into that faithful super power we all obtain, and asks us “well what if this was even better than what we’re accustomed to?”. When some curious part of our ego goes and seeks that out, usually it’s a journey of more hills and valleys, but looking back you can easily say how much better things are now than what they were. A tiny voice in you suspected you deserved more, and so you went and sought that out. *round of applause*
A healthy ego knows you deserve more for yourself, your life and your circumstances. There is nothing wrong with this! Imagine a Giant Sequoia thinking it didn’t deserve the right to rise to higher and higher heights? It’s your birthright to mingle with the clouds and dance among the stars.. Promise.
This is the evidence of the Phoenix. This is the strength the Phoenix provides us to acknowledge the unknown and the fear that’s associated with it, and choose to rise anyhow. You can’t have courage without fear! So if there’s a small or large voice trying to talk you out of your next version of self due to fear, reassure it that it’s doing it’s job! But you’re not a reptile anymore, you’re a Phoenix. And you’ve so got this.
Lastly, we all know the phrase “Seeing is Believing” right? But how empirical and just simply untrue that is. I say receiving is believing. You create trust in yourself to overcome whatever experience you’re faced with based on the hard earned evidence that you’ve done it before. To collect this data, you have to be open to receiving that magical dose of faith that propels us all to the next thing. I don’t care what you have faith in, but I sure hope out of all the options one is yourself.
I would also argue that creating the right environment in order to receive is essential to this equation. You see, our minds can’t solve problems that our nervous system can’t accept an answer to. For example if you’ve only ever known that you must abandon your needs to be accepted or feel secure, then your body has to be convinced into defying this conditioning via tending to its needs ie: rest, self expression, balanced diet etc. The brain simply cannot be the only cure to transmute the energy our bodies have harbored due to our trauma or experiences.
This is why self care and self compassion are SO necessary when you’re on the journey from who you were, to who you’re meant to be. Who you are meant to be literally can’t get near you if your energy field is writhed with fear, anxiety, and trauma. Do your future self a favor and create space for the new version of you that’s trying to arrive.
When in the energy of receivership, our nervous system softens, this creates the space we need for the stuff that’s actually aligned and authentic to who we are to finally show up. We have to get out of our own way and receive the assistance that is our inherent birthright.
To receive we have to allow in the light. We have to allow in the faith that things will change. We have to allow others to witness us in our transition between the thresholds of laying amongst the ash and metamorphosing into our Phoenix self, mess and all.
When we open to these thresholds, the skies our Phoenix has ahead to fly are truly limitless. You are not meant to stay folded within your ashy depths, you are meant to remember who the F you are and rise. Luckily for us, there is no time limit, and rising as slowly as we need is celebrated in and of itself.
There is no rush to Rise from your ashes, but could you this week harness the memory of a time you kicked those ashes’ asses and came back 3x stronger with a new little kick in your step? What story do you want to choose in these next 7 days… to stay down or to stand up?
Check out these journal prompts below to help connect you with your inner Phoenix..
I pray your journey to flaming mythological bird is supported by your guides in your highest and best. May magic and all be on it’s way sooner than later.
Blessings near and far,
Taryn <3
