The Mastery of Nettle and Streams
WOW! Those eclipses mixed in with this Mercury Retrograde we’re in the middle of really did a number on me. If we’re being honest here, (which we always are).. I got absolutely walloped by the energy of the last week. Like holy shit. If you’re in the same boat now, or recovering from being in that boat, I’m so happy you’re here in solidarity with me!
I was a raw and tender vessel of a human on Saturday. Filing through the many many things I ‘could’ or ‘should’ be doing… starting to become paralyzed by my analysis. Debating if I should just throw in the towel and watch Australian reality TV all day.. When my inner child spoke up, and asked to go for a walk. Specifically to listen to a nearby stream within the woods of magical Little Compton, RI. I honored this request and got suited up to go find this babbling stream that was beckoning me to join it. Trying to not ask for any answers, I allowed that childlike wonderment to wash over me as I perched myself on a rock and sang my little songs to this little stream.. After giving my heart, voice and presence to this primordial riparian being, I was able to listen.
Filled to its brim after all this Spring rain, looking closely you notice that there are small rapids that the rocks and fallen branches create in the flow of water. The little wave the disruption that the tiny rapid creates, starts to reach upstream again just for a mere moment. This happens before the wave is swept away, back down the river following suit of all the other waves that came before it. Thing is, it’s not so much about the size of an enormous wave in the ocean or a tiny rapid in a tiny stream. There is some resistance in moving forward when you’ve hit a challenge or obstacle, isn’t there?
When shit hits the fan a lot or just a little, our brains want to revert back towards what’s comfortable even if it doesn’t serve us. Another similar metaphor Nature provides that has been overwhelmingly emergent within these first weeks of Spring, is the Bee and Nettle. When you get stung by the pricks of Nettles leaves, it hurts! When you get stung by a bee.. it hurts! Yet after the surge of emotions of maybe anger, confusion or sadness; we can shift our attention to the medicine these beings provide. Nettle is one of the most well rounded herbs for all. the. things! Rich in minerals and vitamins, Nettle sends healing to our silica, the makings of all tissue in our body: like joints, muscles, bones, skin, hair and teeth… Nettle also gently opens the lymph pathways providing support for our bodies and spirits to clear out what is no longer of service…
A bee sting on the other hand (honey bees in particular), delivers a hormone called glucocorticoid. This hormone helps to regulate inflammation and has been used with efficacy to treat all sorts of inflammatory diseases and issues such as: arthritis, Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s and many more.. this goes to show there is medicine for us after the burn, the sting, or the rapid… And that life is perpetually moving us along throughout both bad and good times. But the burn, the sting and the rapids all must be acknowledged first in order for us to be moved forwards towards the healing… We can’t get past the obstacle without coming into direct contact with it, this pattern repeats itself over and over again, in Nature and in life.
For example, I was stuck in a residual hole of grief this past weekend prior to Monday’s eclipse, mourning yet another layer of my husband who passed away in 2021. While in these moments of contraction, it’s easy for me to feel hollowed out, constricted and downright powerless. Have you ever experienced those heavy moods associated with a memory or a dynamic? A person, place, or a version of you that you’ve outgrown and left behind? Or a dream you once had that seems to have met its expiration date? It overshadows all functional thought and ability many times, and yet we feel ashamed for not being able to complete tasks, call the person back, cook a meal of sustenance etc…
Aren’t we literally grieving things all the time though? My thought is, if you are alive and part of this world.. then, you are grieving something whether it be small or large. Living in these times of swift and sometimes brutal change is devastating regardless of if we catch on years later or in the moment that it’s unfolding.. The world is experiencing blatant levels of heinous and horrifying events now, and since always! How do we find grace in the dismount off and out of our personal or collective pity parties, when it can be banging down our doors at any moment?
Firstly putting the two and two together, that you’re in one. Acknowledging that we are inside a moment of despair, or having a negatively activated experience is so huge! Once you’ve got to the point where you know you’re having a shit time with something, the invitation is always there to take a long, intentional, deeeeep breath. Second, allowing the viscous thoughts and wicked feelings to be present, and we do this by looking at them from an observant perspective. Taking a step back and separating the thoughts from our inner voice and maybe speaking directly to them like: “Oh, hello thoughts and feelings that are insinuating I’m a bad person because I made a mistake or wrong decision… I’m aware this part of my mind believes this is true, but I’m actually not interested in allowing you to talk to me in this way, goodbye!”. We can approach these parts of our mind, as simply PARTS of our mind, they are not the whole story! They do not define who we are.
Without judgment or resistance to them being present, we simply remove their hands from the steering wheel of our vehicles. For me, what is so helpful after this process is to begin a silent gratitude list just in my mind. One thing we’re grateful for.. and then another.. and then another and another… and each time a negative wave comes back in, we remind ourselves again of how grateful we are for xyz.. For example “I don’t know what else is true right now, but I know I’m grateful for my inhale and exhale”, “I don’t know what else is true right now, but I do know I’m grateful for the Earth supporting me beneath my feet”, “I don’t know what else is true right now, but I am grateful this moment is passing me by”.
This changes the narrative in our brain immediately… and you don’t have to even say it in a grateful, fluffy tone! Say it in your pissed off miserable tone! There’s literally no rules… like: I AM SO FRICKIN’ GRATEFUL FOR THAT GRILLED CHEESE EARLIER DAMMIT THAT WAS THE ONLY SLIGHTLY GOOD PART OF MY DAYY!! UGHHH!! Boom! That’s it! You’ve nailed the assignment.
This changes the narrative in our brain immediately… and you don’t have to even say it in a grateful, fluffy tone! Say it in your pissed off miserable tone! There’s literally no rules… like: I AM SO FRICKIN’ GRATEFUL FOR THAT GRILLED CHEESE EARLIER DAMMIT THAT WAS THE ONLY SLIGHTLY GOOD PART OF MY DAYY!! UGHHH!! Boom! That’s it! You’ve nailed the assignment.
All this to say though, before schlepping myself out the door and having this experience with the little stream that got me out of my grief hole of doom. I was invited back into self deprecating thoughts.. I didn’t want to feed myself healthy foods, I didn’t want to go for a walk in nature although I consciously knew it would certainly help.. I didn’t want to talk to anyone who loves and supports me.
I wanted to curl up into a ball and with luck, evaporate…
I have been thinking a lot about how mastery is created.. They say you must allot 10,000 hours of doing something in order to become a master of it right? I definitely haven’t counted, but if I had to guess, I was certainly a master at loathing my existence and the heavy emotions I carry amidst my loathing. So therefore when that invitation pops up to crawl into my ‘grief hole of doom’ when I’m having a less than stellar day, of course I would want to hop on the oh-whoa-is-me train, I'm a professional!
But you see… A bee is a master at delivering nectar against all odds. Nettle, a master of reminding us there is medicine beyond our wounding. The river is a master at moving things along regardless of their resistance. The birds are masters at adjusting their wings perfectly, so that they glide upon the storm's winds with grace. The sun is a master at rising again, and the storm clouds are true masters at quenching the Earth’s thirst.
I’m now in the process of devoting myself to being a master of minding myself. Witnessing myself in the throws of my resistance and allowing ‘it’, to just be whatever ‘it’ is. I’m now learning to become a master at holding space for myself with compassion and empathy. Through the difficult moments where my brain can’t complete a thought because I’m stalemated by my grief, or shame, or anger. I’m in pursuit of becoming masterful at honoring my heaviest emotions, because they too deserve to be felt in their entirety, despite what my mind wants to designate as bad or good. I yearn to be a master of admitting I need support despite the cynical hermit in me that wants to stow away to a planet no one’s heard of. I will one day be a master of schlepping myself off the couch or bed to change the narrative, to create even the smallest amount of something towards what’s authentically supportive to me.
What’s something that doesn’t necessarily serve you that you’re a master at? Putting yourself down? Telling yourself no, when your heart wants to go? Bending over backwards for people who don’t reciprocate? Are you a master at abandoning your dreams at the mere fantasy of them, because they seem too good to be true?
What would you like to be a master at instead; and start working towards it one step, moment, or hour at a time.
Today, I want to be a master at catching myself while I’m dissociating from being present with my process and my path. And redirecting my attention to that inner knowing that there is no rush, and I’m exactly where I'm supposed to be. How can you work towards that goal with me, or whatever resonates with you in this week ahead?
And how can you be kind to yourself in that process of leaving the rapid, the sting and the burn behind…
Here’s some journal prompts to investigate where your mastery lies, and what new levels of mastery you might like to explore…
With much love and gratitude,
Taryn xx
